Diaper change from hell

Time 12:00 Midnight. Date 8/23/05

Baby wakes up, fed, wants to go back to sleep. Dad gently undresses baby as to not wake him. All goes well. Changes his diaper without waking him. That too goes well. Then when dressing him baby grunts, toots and deposits poop. Oh well, undress baby change diaper #2. Start to put back clothes on,....Grunt...Toot...Splat, another deposit. OK, change diaper for third time. This time he waits before trying to dress baby...baby starting to whine and cry a bit....Oh no, wife might wake up. Start to put clothes on...Grunt, toot, splat. arggh. Get out diaper number 4. Take off diaper number 3, start to put on number four, baby (now crying) splats poopy across changing table, hitting wipe warmer and lamp. At this time wife comes into the room and asks if I "need any help". Get diaper number five out, clean up baby, start to place diaper on baby avoiding contaminated changing table, baby lets loose and hoses down diaper number five. Wife seeing incompetence of husband steps in, (baby very upset at this point), changes baby diaper #6 and dresses him. Husband goes to bathroom to get cleaning materials for changing area, wife states "better come quick". Baby upset due to the tossing around he got from dad trying to change his diaper, cried himself upset so that he threw up on himself, and behind the changing table. Wife takes baby and changes him into outfit number three and calms baby down. Husband is left to "clean up your mess".